Got the Homebrew Blues: Kick into All-Grain this Fall or at least Partial Mash

     I usually put brewing on hold in the summer.  Generally speaking I like to brew ales.  I am also a bit cheaper/poorer than most and I do not keep my house at a frigid 65-70 degrees in these months.  So, I resist the urge to brew and do my other favorite thing during the summer months.  DRINK BEER.  That's right, I'm not making anything, I'm drinking it.  Additionally another reason for my summer brewing hiatus is that I generally like to brew heartier, stronger beers that don't really agree with certain summer situations like: sitting on the beach or mowing the lawn.  Granted an IPA is great in hot weather, but I don't make my IPA better than Yards, Stone, Or Dogfish Head, so I just drink those instead.  (Sidenote: If you have a good IPA recipe that's all-grain, or even better, partial mash, pay it forward, please!?!?)  Additionally, the first year I started brewing, I brewed through the summer and imbibed a lot of very estery, banana-y and cloudy beers that were not belgian-style or hefeweizen.

     With all of the reasons I don't brew in the summer, it comes back with a vengeance around this time of year.  I'm itching.  Now, if your like me and don't brew during the summer, your brewing gear has probably gotten all scuzzy and dusty sitting in a bin or in your basement.  Now, its gross.

     What better time to think about upgrading your brewery than when you have all of this equipment that doesn't get you that excited anymore.  This is an opportune time to upgrade to an all-grain setup, or if your budget is a little tighter, or if you feel that all-grain will be too time consuming, upgrade your setup slightly to necessitate partial mash batches.  You will quickly notice that the flavor, quality and price of your batches improves significantly when you make the jump to all-grain or partial mash.  With partial mash, you will notice that the flavor and quality of your batches improves greatly, however your price will not really go down too significantly.  Beer was not intended to be made with extract, it is just easier for beginners.

     In defense of extract brewing, I am by no means saying that you can't make good beer with extract, I'm not even saying that the all-grain batches will all be better.  They aren't always.  It just matters largely on your recipe; above all else.  I have made purely extract batches that taste wonderful and have had all-grain batches that taste like fermented bile.  All-grain is just more authentic and cheaper, and if you enjoy the process of brewing its more fun too.  You can control more variables and make more unique beers.  A seasonal favorite of mine is Pumpkin Ale and for the most part you can't make a pumpkin ale unless it is at least partial mash if not all-grain.

     Do you need some reasons, Here are six!

1.  You will save money on each of your batches.  Each all-grain batch will probably save you about 10-20 dollars depending on the recipe.  Granted while the extra equipment will cost more initially, you will immediately start noticing the price difference.  Malt extract, whether in liquid or in dry form is expensive,  A lot more expensive than the grains you will take home and extract the fermentable sugars from yourself.

2.  With all-grain you have a lot more freedom as to what base malts you will use for your flavor.  Most extracts are made with the same blend of barley.  If your making an oktoberfest marzen for example, it will probably be a little difficult to find authentic german types of barley made into a liquid or dry malt extract.  There is a whole world of different types of malted barley to use, they will all make your beer taste a little different and probably a little better.

3.  It's how it is really done.  To me there is just something better about brewing the way everyone has been doing it since the middle ages and earlier.

4.  You will have more freedom with how you make your beers.  There isn't just extra light, light, amber, dark, and extra dark (and a couple of other odd flavors).  There a dozens of choices and they can be combined in several different combinations.  It's nice.

5.  More robust, creamier, flavorful beer.

6.  If you garden, such as grow your own hops, or the pumpkins for your pumpkin ale (which totally makes you feel like a badass-brewing-colonist); you can use your spent grains as compost.

     Convinced yet.  If your still thinking that it will just be too costly, quit whining.  It only costs a lot if you buy the absolute top-end Blichmann setups.  There are relatively affordable setups available through brewshops, and your spending a lot on extract anyway.  Some of the equipment upgrades are also unneeded.  You can brew partial mash using mostly the current setup you already have with a couple of extra things.  It will cost you about $18-$25 for the additional equipment for partial mash.  If you jump to all-grain, there is a significant amount of equipment, but you can buy budget and it won't negatively effect your finished product by any real noticeable degree.  An all-grain setup can be had for as little as: $180-$300, depending on a myriad of things.

PARTIAL MASH SETUP

Most of this stuff you probably already have as long as you are brewing five gallon batches with extract kits.  If you bought your setup at a homebrew shop and didn't buy the most base kit available, then you definitely have most of it.  Assuming you have a kit similar to this, you won't need too much more.  For the sake of the internet I will calculate most of my pricing using online homebrew supplier pricing, however you should be able to find most of these items at your local shop for roughly the same price.  

Extras you will need:

-  A good thing to contemplate, just to get you more familiar with the process is buying a how-to DVD.  Northern brewer makes one on both partial mash and all-grain, for about $8.00 available here.

-  A good metal strainer.  Don't use a plastic one, preferably one like this with a handle and double screened mesh.  You want one exactly like the one pictured at the right.  It is available for $7.93 through waresdirect.com, however I'm not sure about shipping as this fluctuates.

-  A second kettle.  All this will be doing is holding about two gallons of water to boil.  Just use your largest household pot.  People will tell you this could effect flavor, but they are usually the same people who want to sell you kettles.

-  Lastly you will need a large mesh bag to fit inside your brew kettle to necessitate the separating of your grains afterwards.  These are a specialty item.  You can however reuse them a couple of times.  They are available at most homebrew shops or from this link at Northern Brewer for $7.00.

ALL-GRAIN SETUP

DON'T FEEL OBLIGATED TO GO THROUGH SOLELY HOMEBREW SUPPLIERS FOR THESE ITEMS.  Whether you try to build your own setup or just buy an already put together one (probably smarter), you will need a couple of fairly costly items. However, don't be naive, don't get sold on all types of unnecessary stuff.  It may seem like a lot of extra stuff, it may seem like a lot of money to shell out; it is.  But, suck it up you won't regret it.  

What you will need:

-  If you are unfamiliar with the process I would suggest either reading the section in The Complete Joy of Home Brewing by Charlie Papazian (you should have this book no matter what) or if you are a more visual learner check out a brewing dvd.  I have this one from Northern Brewer and found it useful, it was $8.

-  First off, if you want to brew 5 gallon batches (which I am assuming; most people figure any less than 5 gallons wouldn't be worth all of the effort)  you are going to need a bigger brew kettle.  Generally you will want a kettle that is somewhere between 8-10 gallons because your intitial volume will sometimes be around 6.5 gallons and you will want something large enough to prevent serious boilovers.  Kettles come in all different prices.  There is no significant difference between a kettle bought at a brewshop, and one bought on amazon.  Just read the descriptions.  You don't need the best one with a temperature gauge and ball valve.  It is overkill.  You want something stainless steel, durable, and new.  The cheapest 10 gallon stainless brew kettles can cost anywhere between $80-$150, depending on if you want a ball valve assembly on the bottom.  The 10 gallon Blichmann Boilermaker is gorgeous and can technically be used as your mash tun if you buy a false bottom for it, but it costs $420.  More than a whole setup could have cost you.

-  For the remainder of the equipment, I recommend that you just cough up the dough for a ready made setup.  There are numerous available through the internet and homebrew shops.  When shopping around to try and build it yourself (unless you already have two clean five gallon or larger coolers that you feel that you can trust) it becomes difficult.  In a lot of cases, you cannot find five gallon coolers for under $45.  If you want to go with a false bottom, which is the most problem free option that is another $35.  Add on the food grade ball valves (at least $10 each), high temp tubing, and your time and effort, your not saving all too much.  When you think that you can have one delivered to your house, ready to rock for about $200, why bother.  The all-grain cooler setups available allow for a hassle free all-grain introduction.  You could probably make due shuffling between your brew kettle, your old 5-gal. brew kettle, and a cooler mash tun, but the coolers keep your temperatures more consistent.  Extracting more sugars, making more alcohol.  Tasting better with every moment.

-  Additionally you will need a wort chiller, if you don't already have one.  Don't spend a ton of money on one.  Stick to around $50.

-  Also get yourself a spoon with a really long handle, or better yet a mash paddle.  I am a big fan of the mash paddle, I find the big old-fashioned wood ones do a phenomenal job.

     So, for roughly $350, you can start brewing all-grain batches.  Plus, there are a lot of ways to make it well worth your while to brew all-grain once you have the setup.  Brewing all-grain will save you about 10-20 dollars depending on the recipe.  You can get huge discounts when you buy your malt in 50lb. sacks.  What was once a $1.50/lb. grain becomes $0.75/lb.  A batch of beer can theoretically be made for as cheap as $8-12.  In my days as strictly anextract brewer I remember spending as much as $70-80 on a high gravity batch of darker beer.  The equipment quickly becomes worth it, if you brew enough.  If you brew a bunch of times throughout the year and know how to store your grains well, you win.  Or go in on a 50# sack with a friend.  Most homebrew shops are happy to grind your grains for you, so don't go out and buy a mill.  However, if your going to expect a shop to grind grain you didn't just buy you better have originally bought it from them.

     So, take the plunge.  If you have a birthday in the fall, tell everyone you want them to go in on an all-grain setup.  Or just treat yourself.  The equipment pays for itself quickly, the more and more you brew.  Not to mention, you will probably like the end product a lot more.  If your tighter on cash, at the least, seriously consider outfitting yourself with a partial mash setup.  It allows you to explore all-grain without the huge financial committment; your beers will definitely taste better.  It is a great way to ease into all-grain and get comfortable practicing the process.

     BREW IT UP!

  

Yard Sales: Profiteering and People-watching from the Comfort of Your Own Front Lawn

Grab some friends (or your family).  Get some useless stuff together that isn't worth anything and is cluttering your house.  Throw it out front on some tables or sheets.  The people watching potential alone is worth the time.  The added bonus is that they pay you, and take away your garbage.  You play your game, they play theirs.  This is the intense and often death-defying world of having a yard sale.  

     Have a yard sale, it's a ridiculously odd experience on a lot of levels. Even if you don't have anything worth selling, have one.  That's the beauty of it.  The weirder your merchandise is, the weirder your clientele.  If you have a taxidermied squirrel riding a little toy motorcycle that just doesn't fit your decor anymore, put it out there.  

     Don't get me wrong, the prep is hard work.  But, all in all it's well worth the effort.  My wife, Sara, and I had a yard sale last weekend at my parent's house.

     Disorganized and overcrowded we found ourselves contemplating moving.  Every corner of the house was a chaotic mess; like something out of hoarders: the early years.  Being as clutter makes me generally stressed out, and being as in childhood I was never taught how to organize things or even how to clean up after myself properly, I was in desperate need of a solution.  

     In the past few years when tight on cash, I had yard sales to raise money.  The driving impetus behind this one was different.  Our house had become overgrown with all sorts of odds and ends:  Donations from relatives trying to slim down the throttling amount of material possessions they at one point thought they needed, literally thousands of toys accumulated thanks to having the first two grandkids on both sides of the family and grandparents prone to spoiling children.  Stuff that we had bought when we were even poorer than we are now, that we had since bought a new and improved version of.  

      Additionally, at one point in my life I had collected Star Wars stuff.  Not your average small shelf full of figures you thought looked cool, but about a mid-size Uhaul worth.  I was a spoiled little brat as a child and had tons of Star Wars stuff.  In fact, I didn't stop buying old Star Wars toys until I was in about 11th grade; around the same time that I started spending money on various consummable goods.  

     At this point you are probably thinking that I am sitting on the proverbial collector's gold mine.  Surely, the story of how I made enough for a down payment on a house from my yard sale is to follow.  As much as I wish I could tell you that this was the case, It wasn't.  Point being I had a lot of Star Wars toys.

     Being as most of my Star Wars stuff is still in storage at my parents house; and the fact that my town is one of those wonderful locales where you need to go to town hall, procure a permit, and then pay a fee in order to have a yard sale; I decided to stage the yard sale at my parent's house on a relatively busy New Jersey roadway.  

     Like everything else, Sara and I started yard sale preparations at the very last minute.  The night before the yard sale, Sara and I made our way all over our house with boxes, rounding up crap to sell for about 10 percent of what we originally paid for it.  Rummaging through our bedroom, the kids toys, basement, and attic we came up with an entire carload of the finest lightly used merchandise money could buy.

      After loading all the stuff we planned to sell in the car, our house was once again tolerable.  We could now walk in our attic.  There were now less toys for my boys to fight over.  We finally had a handle on what we even own.  We could see the floor of my attic.

     We sauntered out of bed at 7:15am, an hour later than we had wanted to, finished packing the car, and drove off to my parent's house.  My parents were planning on selling a bunch of stuff too, so I figured that they would have everything set up that they were planning on selling and we could just set up our portion when we got there.  Upon our arrival it became more and more obvious where I get my procrastination genes from.  At close to 9:00AM they had little else out except for a few tables that were apparently filled with invisible mechandise.  Well, at least we are consistent.

       Needless to say, we eventually got our stuff set up.  At this point it was time to sit back, relax and enjoy the show; and a fine show it was!!  While we missed some of the more notoriously hardcore, yard-saling early comers, there were still plenty of characters to go around.  At every yard sale you can hope to see some of these people at work, shit, you may even be one of them.  The first few hours are the best and the earlier you get out there, the more fun these characters will be.

     First, you have the hardcore collector.  These are the depraved people who have a legitimate problem/obsession and are losing sleep to go out and see if they can find what they are looking for.  Being as I collected Star Wars toys for most of my childhood and young adult life, and being as I currently spend about 2 hours a week on Ebay, trolling for antique Coca Cola bottles and mason jars I understand this obsession.  Albeit, I make fun of these people relentlessly, mainly because they aren't into the same collection I am.  Chances are that if you advertise for your yard sale on craigslist, these people will probably try to attack you beforehand.  The ones who show up in person are the ones you have to watch.  They usually have a talking schpeel that sounds as rehearsed and awkward as it sounds.  Sometimes when they begin talking it doesn't end for a while.  A long while.  They are passionate about their interests and they will try to connect with you about them, whether you want them to or not.  

     Here is a sample schpeel that a frequent visitor to every yard sale I have ever had says: Hi, I'm wondering if you might have any military items.  Guns, bayonets, swords, patches.  (pause for answer) OK, also any jewelry.  Earrings, necklaces, rings, brooches.  Silver, gold, any other precious metals and/or gemstones.  (Another equally awkward pause ensues.)  Any 60s space toys, space memobilia in very good or better condition.  (Unfortunately I know what that means.)  At this point the overly enthusiastic  chump will fixate on something you have that is remotely near to something he/she is actually interested in and then proceed to talk to you as if you are equally fascinated with this item as he/she is with their respective obsession.  

     In the case of my yard sale, he chose to pick apart every aspect of every Star Wars item I had put out.  Of course Mr. Antiques Roadshow himself had to pick apart how he had bought a collection of Star Wars items in an auction recently for his son.  Only when he bought the collection the figures and vehicles were complete with all of their accessories.  Not all rough like your stuff.  

     Next, you will find a man or woman who feels obligated to nickel and dime you on the price of every, literally every thing possible.  Mind you,  they do not buy anything.  They just walk around and ask you how much your asking for things, even if they have price tags on them.  They just want to know that they can get the stuff your selling for less than you had wanted to sell it for.  How much is this? (you tell them the price, for example $10) Would you take three? (You don't want to have to pack it up again and its really only worth $1 when you get right down to it, so you say yes.  THEN, THEY DON'T BUY IT.  They got the price they wanted.  Call me old-fashioned, but usually if you get the price you are bargaining for, does it not end in a sale?   

     Then of course there are less annoying, more enjoyable yard sale clients.  Next, you have the people who absolutely can't pass up a deal.  I take a lot of pride in my Crazy Ernie's Emporium of Total Bargain Madness sale tactics in dealing with these customers.  These customers are my bread and butter when I am having a yard sale.  These customers have the ability to make a yard sale truly enjoyable.  They spend lots of money, and you can have a lot of fun with them.  Have some fun with them.  People love a bartgain, crave them in fact.  Offer them a two-fer, or better yet a three-fer.  Everyone is happy, your stuff is gone and they feel as if they got a bargain.  

    If you have the means and lack of seriousness, it doesn't hurt to have the same atmosphere at your yard sale as you would at a barbecue or picnic.  It doesn't have to be hard, serious or even particularly profitable.  Have some friends over, have a couple of drinks, worst case scenario you don't make a lot of money, but you have some fun doing it.  

     Yard sales should never continue past 3:30pm.  People stop showing up and you waste your time sitting around.  Packing takes a while too.  The cards aren't stacked in your favor to continue your yard sale later than 3.  Not to mention something else is going to happen.  About 15 minutes into packing up, you will suddenly find yourself in  the middle of a last-minute, bargain-searching mob.  They show up, seemingly oblivious to the fact that you are trying to pack up.  However, me being a huge fan of inane conspiracy theories, I'll offer a completely valid one.  THEY SHOW UP BECAUSE YOU ARE PACKING.  They see your activity from the road as they drive by.  They know what you packing up means, it means you don't want to lug all of that shit back into your house and put it back, probably all the way in your attic or basement.  They are fully prepared to take serious advantage of your wishes not to have to pack up soo much stuff. 

     Personally in these situations I am fully happy and ready to oblige.  Although I may be a little more throw-away-happy than a lot of front yard merchants, in my mind I know one thing is already in the bag.  I am going to throw out all of this crap.  With the exception of a few perfectly good things that I know should fetch a price in the event of my next front yard blowout, I am kicking this stuff to the curb anyway.  Shit, if these people could wait a couple of minutes, they could have had the whole box of stuff for free.  In the last hour of my last bout with crap-peddling, I made forty dollars on things that I had jammed into boxes that if I was more diligent would have been shoved out to the curb earlier.  

     Lastly, there is another hilarious opportunity even after a large portion of your goods are curbside.  However, those of tight moral character may shudder at this one.  People will immediately begin picking through your discarded merch.  Don't miss the opportunity.  Last time I had a yard sale, I neglected to take the yard sale sign off the telephone pole out front.  I just so happened to be bringing out the last piece of garbage, and I realized someone eyeing up a set of speakers from the late-80s I had been trying to sell for five dollars.  A particularly interested and utterly oblivious lady was eyeing them up.  To anyone, they were quite obviously out to the curb as trash, they were basically in the road. As I walked out, with the box of old packing materials and other general garbage, the lady looked up and remarked: 
Is this yur yard sales? 
To which I remarked in an almost snicker, Why, yes it is..
She then asked me if the speakers in fact worked, to which I told the gospel truth, 
They worked last time I used them, which was about three years ago.  There's no reason they shouldn't.  She replied with: They workin'?  How much ya want?  
I was askin' five. I replied.
Keep in mind these were out at the curb next to a pile of garbage bags, and a box of equally tired stuff.  
You take two?  My oblivious shopper offered.  Bless her heart.  
I weighed it over, in a purely theatrical and contemplative manner.  Eeehhh, Hmmmm.  Okay, sure.

     She handed me eight quarters and left with the speakers, I even loaded them into her trunk for her.  Maybe I felt bad, I probably should, but its all in good fun.  

     When all is said and done, above all else, have some fun.  After all that's what is most important.  If your yard sale was successful, you will leave it with an enormous wad of very small bills; which subsequently get spent on more stuff that will eventually be sold by you at....  

YOUR NEXT YARD SALE!!...