Sensational Non-News

March 6, 2013

What's to Report?

By: John Kafader

     There is such a thing as knowing too much for our own good, and guess what, WE ARE THERE.  I used to watch the news a lot.  I used to read a lot of newspapers.  I still watch the news and read newspapers, but sometimes it becomes a little less than enjoyable.  I blame it on a lot of things, or rather a lot of little things.  We are so submersed in media nowadays that it has become mind-numbing to keep up with the news.  With the 24-hour news cycle and all of the wasted effort of finding things to constantly report on, we are running out of things to say. 

     It is sad.  There is simply not that much going on sometimes and all of these news outlets are left with nothing to do but stories that don't honestly matter to anyone.  Half of the daily news stories aren't even anything of substance.  Take an inventory of the next newspaper/ radio news update/ TV news broadcast you read, watch, or hear.  How important was it.  Honestly?

     Do you care if three people were shot in the Middle East this afternoon?  Even if they were government officials?  Sad but true, I wish it wasn't, but it is.  Here's a question for you: When was the last day that no one met an untimely death in the Middle East anyway?  I think it was the day before Christ died.

    Perhaps the worst offender of all is weather forecasting.  First off, it is all scientifically based guess work.  They have a good idea, but nothing is solid.  With global warming (which I am tired of hearing about) we are obsessed with every little thing the earth does naturally.  Because we've had a couple of hurricanes in the past few years, you would think as every storm moves in, the apocalypse is upon us.  What was once rain showers with winds of 20+ mph is now referred to as Winter Storm Saturn.  Sounds much scarier right?   While the "storms wrath"(actual quote from weather.com, check it out)  is upon us, I will be battening down the hatches here in Hopewell, the bunker is ready.

    Do you care if a dog attacked a little girl in Wisconsin, and now the dog might just have to be put to sleep?  Dogs die and get put to sleep everyday in every city in America.  Also, everyday someone gets attacked by a dog.  Heck, when I was a kid I think I got attacked by my family dog every other week.  No one was there to report it.  Eventually we put him to sleep, or as my parents told me they gave him to a nice old couple.  Yes, it is sad and scary for the little girl, but honestly she will pull through.  She will live to see another day.  Is this cause for a national news story, or are we perhaps running out of things to cover.

     

     One more for good measure, I may lose some of you on this one.  I honestly don't need to know what the president is up to on a daily basis.  Quite honestly I think this is where some of our country's hatred of politicians has come from.  We know too much about the man.  Not just Obama, either.  The only time I need to know what the President is up to, is when he does something pertaining to the presidential job description (if there is one); or when he has done something horribly wrong (Watergate?).  That's it.  The president is not supposed to be a celebrity, nor is his wife.  We are in the presidential business too much.  We weren't busy exposing Kennedy (may he rest in peace) for the philanderer he was, were we?  He was doing Marilyn Monroe for christ sake.  The modern day press would have had a news-gasm  with that one.  Then, decades later we nearly crucify Bill Clinton for coping a blowjob for a chubby intern.  God forbid we had the 24-hour news cycle in the 1700s.  Nobody would have trusted the founding fathers for a fortnight.   

     

     These are just examples.  Believe me, I could go on for days and days.  Now, wait a minute, I am not trying to expose news outlets for broadcasting total crap.  I am just saying it has gotten out of hand.  Once upon a time news stories were written and reported and then that was it, until something else happened.  We have become totally obsessed with keeping up to date, to the point of nausea.

     We have become a bunch of knowledge-obsessed people.  This within itself is not bad, but it has become so frivolous that its no fun anymore.  We know too much for our own good.  So, next time your watching coverage of  Category 1 Tropical Storm Jeff or find yourself reading about the Twizzler shortage in Muncie, do yourself a favor and go do something fun instead.